You’re too fat.
You’re too chubby.
You’re too skinny.
You’re too muscular.
You’re too dark.
Trust me, I’ve heard it all! Let’s be real, we live in the modern world (with plenty of ads, social media, and enough Netflix originals to last a lifetime) that constantly reminds us just how important looks are. YES no matter how idealistic I try to think sometimes (i.e. that we're not all that shallow), the truth is, to some level, everyone cares about looks. Some more and some less than others, but bottom line is how we look is a topic in everyone’s minds.
I am speaking quite generally here, but coming from an Asian culture, it’s hard to avoid the role looks plays, especially in regards to the topic on weight. There’s so much emphasis from when I was a young girl about not getting fat, or be too skinny, to dress a certain way, to be a certain way. I mean seriously the list goes on and on. I think there are similar expectations across all cultures, but speaking from my own experience, weight is typically a hot topic, especially if I haven't seen someone in a while. (Well weight and my relationship status, but that’s a topic for another time!)
The message I want to share is, accept and love yourself for who you are the way you are. It took me awhile to get to where I am today, but trust me the harder you work to love yourself the more rewarding life becomes.
I used to be unhappy with my body. I can’t recall a time through my adolescent years or my youth where I was happy with how I looked. I always found fault with everything. In my pre-teen years, I was the chubby one, but even when I lost the weight in high school I would find fault in my face, my thighs, my arms or something else. It never stopped. In part, because of comments from others, but a lot of it had to do with the state of my mind.
All the comments shot at me used to shake me up. I used to think oh no, I’m too fat, I need to get going and lose weight ASAP! Then when I lost weight, people would tell me I was too skinny. (Seriously! What do you want from me?!) I used to take it all to heart. It impacted my self-esteem a great deal. If you ask my childhood friends, they will remember how insanely insecure I was growing up. Until one day I finally realized something, who are they to tell me about how I should look?
My body is mine. My life is mine. What’s important is to love myself for who I am and to celebrate the body I am in! I finally told myself, “YOU’VE GOT THIS!” So why does it need to matter to anyone else? What becomes apparent is how important it is to feel alive in my own skin. To accept all of myself in the most genuine way. There’s nothing wrong with how I look, unless I allow such polluting thoughts corrupt my state of mind.